Thursday, March 29, 2012

The Book

Last week I went to a site and had this blog printed in a hard back book from beginning up to the last entry before this one. When the book came in I cried. What I held in my hands could not be replaced or even a value put on it. It was my thoughts, my dreams, my laughter and my tears. Many years ago I gave my mom and dad a book to record their memories. They never finished it but the parts they did write in I love. You know what I mean - one of those books that ask you questions to prompt your memory and open discussions that you probably otherwise wouldn't have had ? The only problem with mom and dads book is that sometimes it is a little hard to read their writing. I know mine can be dreadful too. Knowing this, I have decided when my life is a little dull and I have nothing current to write about that is critical or amusing at the least , I will use the questions in the book to blog . Hopefully, it will serve as something for generations long from now to use to know more about me and who I am.

One of the questions that was in that book is " what is the most important thing you have learned?"

That is a tough one. I feel I have learned a lot in the 45 years ( I should say 46 since my birthday is next week but I think I will hang on to 45 a little longer.) The most important thing I have learned in my life that seems to come to me time and time again when I need it most is that God has a plan for my life. He knows me and He loves me and will never harm me. Knowing that everything happens for a reason makes even the roughest times bearable.

There are still things that have happened in my life that I scratch my head and say " what was the plan?" or "what good came from that?" As I have matured ( don't laugh ) I have realized that not all things will I see " THE END" And also it doesn't mean that every situation will turn out with someone riding off into the sunset on a white horse singing a song or rainbow with unicorns dancing around a pot of gold.

What are some of these unanswered questions you ask ?

What did my mom and dad die so young ? Sometimes when I see adults out to eat with their mom or dad I get sad and jealous and miss mine. I know they lived a full life . They were ready to meet the Savior, but I wasn't ready to let them go.

Why did my first marriage to Addam and Danielle's dad end - isn't marriage for forever ?

Life is about living in the moment but always being inspired by the past and challenged knowing that our choices affect the future . Notice I said, THE future and not MY future . Life is about more than just me. It is about the people that I love and people that I will never know. That is a pretty big pill to swallow , but I will take it.