Thursday, February 16, 2012

The Man I Married

When I met Randy I was 32 and he was 46 . He managed a restaurant and sang the blues. No, I mean really.. really sang the blues. I loved hearing him sing some of his favorites from Keb Mo. I loved it so much in fact that for his first birthday that we celebrated together I treated him to a trip to Nashville to see Keb Mo. Pure Magic.

Randy dressed in khakis and button down shirts pressed and always smelled so good. He wore expensive cologne and his hair was always perfect. When I visited his house there were rare times that candles were not burning and music playing... always the romantic.

When we would go to eat it would always be at VERY nice places... even places that didnt have the prices listed on the menu and waiters stood around to jump at your every whim.

Do you have a good picture of who Randy was when I met him ?

That was about 12 years ago.

Last week we went on a carribean cruise.

Romantic right ?

Upscale right ?

I got a bad wrap for packing too much clothes but as we got in our cabin on the ship and I started to unpack his things. We had a tambourine.... a TAMBOURINE? Maracas ? A wooden thingy that makes music ? Did he have a gig on this boat and forgot to mention it ?

The first thing that Randy had to eat when he got on the " floating buffet " with gourmet cuisine ? A hot dog... Yes a hot dog.

We had 24 hour room service that was included in our all inclusive cruise price. Randy ordered it several times to get a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Yes... the moon , the boat, the music and a PB& J. Cant get any better right ?

My Randy from ten years ago is totally different from the man I am married to now. He probably would say the same about me.

Regardless its all still pure magic.

Most days.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Where I am now

I guess I have come to a part of my life that I say " Well, Deb, you must be officially matured because you have been through some crap lately and you aren't freaking out." So.. here I go.

" Well, Deb, you must be officially matured because you have been through some crap lately and you aren't freaking out."

Are the things I have been facing lately really just less dramatic than past circumstances or have I matured ? Am I eating to compensate for the stress ? Am I just crazy and I am not dealing with it by blocking it out , therefore it just seems less stressful.

Probably all of the above.

Over the holidays when my phone was dinging every ten minutes with yet another ( sorry ) but DUMB question or comment from a parent. Or I was receiving a phone call from a grandparents whining about why her grand daughters Letter to Santa wasn't in the paper I decided to change my cell number. "Well... if she came to school when she was supposed to and mom wasn't too lazy to drive her in this wouldn't even be an issue . So, before you start crawling up my back about a Letter to Santa maybe you should address your daughter about her parenting skills that most likely YOU passed on to HER." There.. I said it. Only in my head and here.. because I have better manners than to hurt someone that way. I wish people had the same respect for me.

I think I came dangerously close to having a mid life crisis. Ok Ok I did. I forgot to be thankful for what I have. I won't go into details but lets just say Mid Life crisis' are VERY REAL. It is like a cougar crawls inside your body and says.. you are getting OLD... LIVE! YOU DESERVE IT AT ANY COST ! Meow.... thankfully , I tamed the kitty before she did too much damage. ( Lord knows I committed several unspeakable sins in my head so the follow through wasn't necessarily needed. )

Danielle moved back home. So far so good. She is very responsible and we are loving having her here. The first few weeks she did have a little fun but I look at that as her coming out party. Coming out of a TERRIBLE relationship where a man made her feel less than worthy of anything she deserved. So party a little she did and I just smiled and made sure she was safe . There were a few that judged her. That is when you find out who your real friends are. You know them.. the friends who's kids are perfect. ............... so far.

The diet.
THE diet.

I just finished off a bag of carmel popcorn. I'll leave it at that.

I have so many more things to write about. I love blogging . It makes me feel better. I think I allowed face booking to take up this method of coping with life for me. And well. ... those one liner status updates aren't working for me much anymore. Here I can be myself. Here I can rant and rave and I don't have to worry if anyone "likes" it or not.

Happy to be back.