I have always kind of known this about myself but days like today made me think to myself " BAM , you are SO 1950's wifey material. " ( Ok , maybe you have a hard time picturing June say BAM! but bear with me.)
Randy and I are rarely ever apart. By rarely I mean... mostly NEVER. He is here to see me at my best and my worse and all the in between. I can never perform miracles in housekeeping or self adornment because he is here . All. The. Time. ( Not complaining... ) Today I came home from a conference at the local school for one of our little girls to find him gone. I have had the flu for the past few days and the front of the house has GONE TO THE DOGS. ( Ok, maybe June wouldn't say that either... ) Randy has tried to help me keep up with laundry ( it was sweet I was about to run out of underwear. ) but the laundry was piled on the couch. There was medicine and snot filled kleenex's everywhere. ( sorry.. ) and mounds of mail and paperwork had taken over the desk yet again. Being the great wife that I am I called him to see where he was and he was at choir practice at church. I wanted to go for a ride with the windows down and suck in the fresh air. I was a little BUMMED at first but then I thought BAM! ( Ugh.. sorry June) I can perform some housecleaning miracles in the next hour and a half and surprise my hubby. It will be as if I just waltzed in from a Boy Scouts meeting and he is coming in from work.
First I folded all the clothes on the couches and put them away. I stripped the bed and threw the sheets in the washer. I started defrosting the meat for spaghetti which he said he wanted yesterday. STRIP THE BED THAT I SLEPT IN SICK ALL WEEK . I cleaned the table of snot rags and even dusted the top and arranged his music magazines he is reading on the edge with his glasses on top. I vaccuummed the carpet . THE BED SHEETS ARE FINISHED IN THE WASHER! IN THE DRYER THEY GO. I threw the garlic bread in the oven. I took all the medicines out and put them back where they belong. I washed the snack cups from the end of the preschool day. I cleaned some of the papers off the dining room table and arranged the flowers he gave me earlier in the week. I finished the sauce for the spaghetti. THE SHEETS ARE DRY ! PUT THEM BACK ON THE BED! HURRY! As I hear the back door open and Randy comes in I slow my pace and grab a plate to put his dinner on. I sat at the table with him and talked about practice. I am not eating today ( or tomorrow, its a cleanse give me a break) but I sit.. and listen. After Randy finishes eating I dish up the leftovers ( BAM for lunch being ready for tomorrow!) and wash the dishes.
That was an hour and a half. Pretty good huh ?
Now we are sitting side by side in the livingroom. He has his earphones on and is listening to something on Youtube and here I sit banging out my thoughts on my lap top. He hasnt noticed all the cleaning I did in the hour and a half he was gone.
( Oh and I wore a dress today and touched up my makeup before my meeting AND didnt put on a tshirt and sweats to clean. )
I did a little research on what a 1950's wife is.
Excerpt from " HouseKeeping Monthly May 1953 - which was nine months after my husband was born. With my thoughts added in ......
- Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed. Well, I think I proved that I can do that tonight ! I mean, it was a jar sauce but I was in a hurry. I did sprinkle a little extra garlic in it.
- Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. I didnt have 15 minutes to refresh after running like a mad lady cleaning up 4 days worth of flu evidence and I dont wear ribbons but I did squirt a little HAPPY cologne on.
- Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. A little more interesting GIVE ME A BREAK JUNE.. His day wasnt boring and geez.... I am not an babysitter.
- Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables. BAM!
- Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. Immense personal satisfaction ? I am trying to feel it as he listens to his phone with his earphones on and ignores my now relaxed self. Maybe I am missing something here. Where is that ribbon ?
- Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet. CHILDREN Were QUIET ! There are NONE ! And well. I did have 80s music blaring. Does that count ?
- Be happy to see him. I was.... so I could STOP and he looked pretty cute in his little beebop hat .
- Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. CHECK !
- Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours. I tried..
- Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax. Oh Lordy June.. this is getting DEEP.
- Your goal: To try and make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. He looks renewed.. what do you think ? SEE picture above.
- Don’t greet him with complaints and problems. Check !
- Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
- See Above picture...
- Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. Well... I have had the flu and my voice is pretty low right now I dont know if one would call it soothing.... I put a new pillow case on his pillow and but shoes, well, I have to draw the line somewhere...
- Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. Yep. Ahem...
- A good wife always knows her place..
So dont you agree ? I would make a GREAT 1950's wife.