Just keep swimming

Dory: Hey there, Mr. Grumpy Gills. When life gets you down do you wanna know what you've gotta do? 
Marlin: No I don't wanna know. 
Dory: [singing] Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim. 
Marlin: Dory, no singing. 
Dory: [continuing] Ha, ha, ha, ha, ho. I love to swim. When you want to swim you want to swim. 
Marlin: Now I'm stuck with that song... Now it's in my head. 
Dory: Sorry.

So, that is what you do , huh? When life gets your down you just swim swim swim....

Well, I am swimming.

Dad had a heart attack Thursday night. Through my life experiences I have learned not to over react and to stay calm.  I can pretty much control my emotions.  

Today, after a five hour training we stopped by the hospital to see my dad and pick up my mom.  The doctor had been in and said the whole back side of dads heart is dead.  Dead....  What exactly does that mean ?  Not long after that a few of mom and dads friends came in to visit . As I leaned against the wall it was like it was all a blur.  They were all laughing and talking about a squirrel that Randy is trying to catch and all I could see was my dad.  Ever once in a while I would see him smile and put his arms behind his head.  What other people didnt notice was he was breathing very slowly and intentionally out of the mouth.... trying to control the pain.  How can you live with half your heart dead?  How do you feel inside when someone tells you that? Scared... I am sure.  

I always thought I gained my tough skills from my mom.  I realized that I gained a few from my dad as well.   Dad laughs off his emotions... I do too.

Next week, I have school... which alone is overwhelming.

Class on Monday night.

Choir Wednesday.

A meeting on Thursday.

Saturday I am in Little Rock piloting the first ever Family Childcare Association.  Over 747 people from the state will be invited and I am "running the show."

Now, throw in the mix-

Mom has chemo every day next week.  She is worried about how to keep that going if/ when dad has surgery.

Dad will probably have a procedure early in the week that will determine what they do next.

How do I keep it all going... I feel like a crazy person.  Isn't this the part of my life that should be slowing down?

Just keep swimming.... just keep swimming...

I think I better get a life preserver handy...

Jesus be the center
Be my source be my light Jesus
Jesus be the center
Be my song Jesus

Be the fire in my heart
Be the wind in my sails
Be the reason that I live

Jesus Jesus
Jesus be my vision
Be my help
Be my guide Jesus

© 1999 Vineyard Songs 

The Hulk Visits the Bathroom

I went into my bathroom downstairs the other day and this is what I saw!  Had the Hulk visited my bathroom and decided to use the potty?  Had the Jolly Green Giant taken a little wee wee and left evidence ?  

No.

Of course not.

This is why I CRINGE when visitors stop by and say " Do you mind if I use your restroom?"  Of  course I dont! BUT, it is very probable that a little child has been using the handstamp and decided to go potty mid- stamp and thus tattoed the bowl.  Of course, I clean it but remember there are SIXTEEN kids here... It usually gets wiped down once during the day  and then a good sanitizing at the end of the day.  So, moral to the story is - if you come to my house you might want to empty your bladder well before arriving or be prepared to leave with green handprints on your tooshie!  Don't worry though, experience tells me that it wears off in a day or two.  

Mommy and Me Tea

Tonight was the perfect ending to a crazy week.  Instead of a Valentines party today we had a " Mommy and Me Tea" tonight. The children came in with moms, or grandmas and made cake in a mug.  I found this on this site . 

It was a lot of fun.  They came in and we had a cooking station set up in the kitchen and they made it together. It was fun to watch the children interact with their parents.

These kids love their moms so much.  The cool thing about family child care is that we are a real extension of that.  When it is nap time all 16 kids lay down and you hear " I love you all over the house".  I think that is they way most moms would want it. 

I can't tell you how much I love my job and how much I pray that I can be used in it to make a difference.  These little opportunities like this are a ministry to me.  I want these parents to be able to look at me and see something different.  I think God set me on this journey for a reason. I am blessed.

Crete, Frescoes and My Past Life

Today I am stuck in the house with an eye infection. It looks pretty nasty but honestly doesnt hurt too much. I decided if I have to stay inside , I might as well catch up on some school work. Well, actually I am working ahead on a research paper for Art. I decided to do my paper on something that I have a connection with. I chose to to the Art of the ancient Minoan period. No, I am not Minoan but I did live in Crete, Greece for a period of my life. I was 22 and had two children and loving life. Moving to a foreign country didn't really scare me, I love new adventures.

The art works that I am writing about are mainly the frescoes that were painted on the palace walls, such as Knossos and small iconic sculptures. As I am researching pictures of places that we visited as a family are there just as they are in my photo albums. As I look at the works of art the memories are as vibrant as the colors on the walls.

Knossos Palace - The main thing I remember is the frescoe of the dolphins on the wall and Allen.

Gounnira was a great place to explore , the low walls made it easy to see the structure of the city. Allen had Danielle is a little blue and red carrier and carried her all over. I had on a blue skirt and a white sweater.

We visited the beach where Paul ship wrecked . We had a picnic there and a family came over to take our picture.

There was a beach that was topless that we went to. We didnt know it until we had unloaded everything and headed through the beach with all our paraphanela . I remember Addam who was 3 at the time kept saying " daddy that lady doesnt have a top on,.." We left fairly quickly. I think Allen might have enjoyed that stop. I also remember the outdoor restroom there. It was a wood shack with a HOLE IN THE GROUND. You straddled the whole ... ummm. No.

I remember Allen and I standing in the Aegean Sea and pushing Danielle underwater for her to swim to us. She was 6 months old.

Blue doors... everybody had them.

Hersonisos is where we lived. Our landlord was Greek. He spoke no english, which is why one day when my water heater went out I ended up with a chicken egg.

I was in a play called " God's favorite" and I got to wear a full length mink coat.

There were a lot of gypsies and the children stole flowers from graves at night and would come into town to sell them.

So many memories of my life starting out with Allen. We were so happy. Good times.

I want to go back one day. Although, I am not sure I can handle the memories. They were good. It hurts to think that he is no longer alive. He always said he wanted to go back to Greece. I hope one day in his honor I can take the kids back there.

For today, I will finish this paper ( maybe it wasnt a good idea to pick Greek Art) and maybe get the movie Mama Mia!

αντίο - good bye!

Stupid Art Test

Today I had my first on-campus exam.   I studied all week. I took the little review sheet she gave us and diligently filled it in.   I was scheduled to be there at 5:00 p.m..  I left home a little early knowing that the area I had to wait in for my appointed time would SURELY be less distracting than home.  As I drove over there I recited the elements of art and the five reasons  I feel art exist. I ran pictures of the Mona Lisa through my head and the American Gothic and said the artist names over and over.  I am ready!

As I find a place to park that is in the boonies of parking areas, I take out my purse and realize as I start to walk to the building that my coach purse is cute but looks a little out of place along side  the  backpacks I see.   When I finally reach the door I am huffing ( reminder to get BACK ON THAT DIET!) and a little disoriented.  Where am I supposed to go?   I finally found a map on a wall and realized that I had to go to another building.  Here I go.... huffing again....

When I finally reach the testing center I have about 35 minutes before it is time for me to go in.   I make a quick stop in the restroom . That is when it all fell into place.  In the mirror, I see an old me looking back. I never have felt I looked so old.  As my eyes drift from my wrinkled face down I am horrified to remember that I have on a winnie the pooh shirt. SERIOUSLY! I put it on today because it is warm and the kids like it.  WHY did I not change before I left?  So, now I picture my fat huffing self carrying an expensive coach purse to class with a bright red walmart winnie the pooh shirt on.  Lovely.

The test itself wasn't too hard.

I am not sure how I did.

Do you think it was bad to use tattoos as an example of how culture has affected art?

I guess not, unless the instructor ( who I have not seen) is a tattoo queen.

If she is, then I am sure she is laughing right now as she makes red marks on my perfect paper.

I learned a lot today.

I was happy to get back home. 

I always feel young here.

Geneviette came over and we baked Valentines cookies.

She loved my shirt.

Going back to college is not necessarily as hard on the brain as it is on the ego...

Stupid Art Test !