Visiting Randy's Church

Ok, now - let me get this straight. I am not making fun of Randy's church, it is just everytime I go I come back befuzzled.... and more confused.   Here are my questions  this time.

1.   Why would you go to a church service where you dont understand 3/4 of what the bishop is saying?  Do you get anything from it? How?  I mean, I didnt know whether to sit, stand or give peace.

2.  If you KNEW you were going to kneel in church would you take the large #7 circles off your shoes and the TJ MAXX 19.99 price tag?  ( Yes, I was already lost and wandering at this point.)

3   Is it ok that the kids behind you goes to get his " Lord's Supper" complete with wine and comes back saying " MAN, that wine was STRONGER than the last time.. whew...".  

4.  Why do they have confirmation? What does it mean?  Arent they confirmed when they accept Christ? or.... how do they do that?

5.   Is that spaghetti I smell cooking in the kitchen?

6.  Why does the Bishop get every drop of wine out of the goblet? Is he that thirsty or just doesnt want to wash it?

7.  I noticed they took up two collections.  The first one was regular and the second was a special one for something.  The second basket was almost as full as the first.  Maybe we should try that pass the plate two times thing....

8.  Why did I wear this purple sweater by boobage keeps wanting to bust out ?

Yep... that was pretty much all my thoughts for the service. They even prayed in Spanish.  Maybe I should have went to my own church...