Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Watch out for the Birds!

So, I have been stressing all week about this trip to Hawaii. I mean, lately there have been two planes with birds stuck in the engine. Then, I watched this movie about a man and woman on a plane that was hijacked. I know all of that is crazy and doesnt happen that often, but that wasn't what was stressing me anyway. It was getting on the plane and buckling my seat belt. All summer ( or all my life, you choose ) I have tried to lose weight -mainly due to events like yesterday. I mean on stage I can hide behind my voice or my confidence. On a plane there is nothing to hide behind.. it is just me... my body. It doesnt even matter how" pretty my eyes are, what a great smile I have or how beautiful my voice is" ... Those plane seats are made for skinny people. Who ever engineered them did not have chubby people in mind. I had anxiety as I loaded the plane hoping that a forgiving soul was sitting next to me. I was in the window seat. I sit down and stowed away my bag... and thought.. is it going to fasten. If it doesn't can I please just not bellow loudly?

It did. Buckle.


At one point the stewardess said.... please make sure you safety belts are securely fastened. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? This thing is so securely fastened that I am not sure I will be able to get back out of it. I made it through the flight to Denver. There was a man ,much smaller, sitting next to me and he was quiet. I didnt even ( believe it or not ) spark conversation. I knew if anything came out of my mouth, it would be.. sorry you are the unlucky one that share this seat with me... ugh...

The next flight wasnt too bad. On a 777 the seats are bigger. THANK THE LORD! I was comfortable and so was the man next to me. I even sparked a conversation with him . He and the Colorado Swim Team that surrounded us got little rest. I watched two teenage boys read a girls issue of Cosmopolitan. They giggled and pointed and stared. Oh.. to be a teenager again and think the stuff in those magazines really does work. I had already decided not to eat much... remember the last plane ride... so I just got a snack box. It said ACTIVE so I figured it ws healthy. It was so healthy in fact that you didnt want to eat it. The movies shown were the soloist and Star Trek. It wasnt a bad plane ride, I did afterall fit in the seat belt.

The first night in Hawaii with the kids and Geneviette was good .We took the grand dog to the dog park. It was interesting . There was a park for dogs 35 pounds and under and then a park for the bigger dogs. They all just ran and played . There was even a drinking fountain for them. You have to wonder what the dogs were thinking as they ran about playing , humping and growling at each other.

Then today... at 4 am my phone rang. A store called to tell me they were looking for a dress I had ordered. YAY! Then I couldnt go back to sleep. I tried to read. I got a drink. I felt my way through Danielle's dark house ( which is very nice ) to the bathroom downstairs. I was afraid if I used the one upstairs I would wake her and Justin up. I went back to bed. The phone rang again... it was Randy. He couldn't find the dentist office I made him apppt. at. Ok OK OK. I will get up.

I go downstairs.

Danielle's dog, Tigger, comes running downstairs with a kotex in his mouth. I chase him around for a while trying to quietly laugh.. Geneviette is up by now chasing him too and saying " Mia, what's he got..." I finally get it and take it back to my suitcase. Geneviette leaves the door open again and here we go again.... chasing the grand dog around the house trying to catch him and get my personals. Danielle is up by now. After it is all over she comes downstairs and is laughing. She said she asked Justin did he know what is going on down there he said " yeah... You mom is trying to take Tigger's Kotex."

Not sure what is better.... the seat belt or the kotex. ( This story in some wierd way reminded me of a friend , a lap top , a new son in law, and some panties...)


reece&dana said...

I want to see the video of the dog chase. So funny!

You are so hard on yourself (the seat belt). Be sweet to you!

Foreversongbird said...

I know just how you feel. We went to Six Flags over Texas last weekend. The seats on the rides are made for skinny people too. You had only 2 planes to board, I think we went on 8 rides...On 2 of the rides only one butt cheek fit..but by the time the ride ended, both of them were squeazed in. As the rides were coming to a stop, I kept having this vision of the park people having to bring in the jaws of life to release my bottom from its squished state. Kudos to my Backberry Curve whom barely survived the day in my back pocket.

Rita said...

I haven't been checking the blog in teh past several weeks...it always give me a smile. You are so much fun...and I totally get the seat thing. When you and I flew to SECa I barely got mine fastened.
Maybe I should just plan trips that are driving?

The Queen Herself said...

Just when I think I am all alone in this world - you, my dear, appear and remind me that I have a true sister! Love ya - and they're called "stickers you put in your panties" according to my daughter :)

PS - you got me interested in this - so I'm putting my blogs up - send the masses! :P


Sun-Kissed Savages said...

This was hilarious!!! Thanks for the great laugh before bed. I'll have that dog chase in my head as I fall asleep! ;-)
Glad it was a trip to remember!!