Saturday, February 28, 2009

Just keep swimming

Dory: Hey there, Mr. Grumpy Gills. When life gets you down do you wanna know what you've gotta do? 
Marlin: No I don't wanna know. 
Dory: [singing] Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim. 
Marlin: Dory, no singing. 
Dory: [continuing] Ha, ha, ha, ha, ho. I love to swim. When you want to swim you want to swim. 
Marlin: Now I'm stuck with that song... Now it's in my head. 
Dory: Sorry.

So, that is what you do , huh? When life gets your down you just swim swim swim....

Well, I am swimming.

Dad had a heart attack Thursday night. Through my life experiences I have learned not to over react and to stay calm.  I can pretty much control my emotions.  

Today, after a five hour training we stopped by the hospital to see my dad and pick up my mom.  The doctor had been in and said the whole back side of dads heart is dead.  Dead....  What exactly does that mean ?  Not long after that a few of mom and dads friends came in to visit . As I leaned against the wall it was like it was all a blur.  They were all laughing and talking about a squirrel that Randy is trying to catch and all I could see was my dad.  Ever once in a while I would see him smile and put his arms behind his head.  What other people didnt notice was he was breathing very slowly and intentionally out of the mouth.... trying to control the pain.  How can you live with half your heart dead?  How do you feel inside when someone tells you that? Scared... I am sure.  

I always thought I gained my tough skills from my mom.  I realized that I gained a few from my dad as well.   Dad laughs off his emotions... I do too.

Next week, I have school... which alone is overwhelming.
Class on Monday night.
Choir Wednesday.
A meeting on Thursday.
Saturday I am in Little Rock piloting the first ever Family Childcare Association.  Over 747 people from the state will be invited and I am "running the show."

Now, throw in the mix-

Mom has chemo every day next week.  She is worried about how to keep that going if/ when dad has surgery.
Dad will probably have a procedure early in the week that will determine what they do next.

How do I keep it all going... I feel like a crazy person.  Isn't this the part of my life that should be slowing down?

Just keep swimming.... just keep swimming...

I think I better get a life preserver handy...
Jesus be the center
Be my source be my light Jesus
Jesus be the center
Be my song Jesus

Be the fire in my heart
Be the wind in my sails
Be the reason that I live

Jesus Jesus
Jesus be my vision
Be my help
Be my guide Jesus

© 1999 Vineyard Songs 

1 comment:

Rita said...

The perfect song for your week, my dear friend. I'll hold you up in prayer...and Debbie, if there is anything you can delegate to me or others this week please do it. Meanwhile, keep swimming, holding onto Jesus hand. Isn't it great that He is never overwhelmed? Just do what is most important this week, if soemthing happens and you can't come to the meeting Sat. know that others will step in and do our best in your place.