A couple weeks ago a friend and I were talking and I said something to her.. about someone that I shouldn't have said. Well, I am Baptist, so - I asked her what she thought. I knew when it came out of my mouth that I shouldn't have said anything. I really do NOT like to gossip. Someone always gets hurt. I think that is why I am so open with my life. I have been the brunt of gossip before and in my crazy head I think that if I make my life an open book that no one can hurt me. Anyway - back to my saga.
As fate would have it my friend slipped and repeated what I said TO THAT PERSON. I can honestly say I wasn't mad. I know she would not do anything purposefully to hurt me. Now what? I have to do what is right... I tried to call the object of my stupid gossip to talk to him and apologize and got no answer. I tried calling several times. Finally I sent him a message. It was eating me alive. He didnt reply. Tonight he was online and I spoke to him. He spoke back. He told me what I already know.. how hurt he was. He basically did not let me off the hook. I can honestly say that MOST days I can go to bed with an easy conscience, but not tonight. I am hurt by my own ignorance and there is nothing I can do to fix it. He mentioned that he had told his family how hurt he was. I love his family. Now, I would assume they think I am a hypocrite as well. By opening my mouth and saying 6 words I have ruined a relationship with people that I respect.
I feel awful.
I had hoped that spilling my guts in here would make me feel better... no.
I talked to Randy... no.
I have asked forgiveness from the friend.
I have asked forgiveness from the Father.
(1 John 1:9 KJV) If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
That is a promise from the Bible. Thankfully it pertains to stupid people, like me too.
Lord, please help control my mouth. I have noticed lately that it is becoming easier and easier to say things I shouldnt . I dont understand why. I want to be in your will and I do not want to be a stumbling block to your people.