Saturday, August 23, 2008

It seems like yesterday

This morning I left my huge list of "to do's " on the table and headed to Danielle's apt.   I was a little apprehensive about being there today.    I knew she would be excited and I would be... well.. not so excited. Today my baby, Danielle , had her wedding portraits taken at Old Main on the U of A campus.   As a mom, so many things go on in your head.   Is she making the right decision?  What if she isn't?  What if it rains and ruins her dress? What does she think about all the sorority girls along the side walk cheering her on and wishing her well? It seems like yesterday that she was one of those girls.   

It seems like yesterday that Danielle was a preschooler and hanging out with me all day. She would wear her crown and her red cowboy boots and always wanted to be the line leader.   She always had HUGE bows in her hair that matched her outfit perfectly.   My little princess.  

It seems like yesterday that Danielle tried out for the  junior high cheerleading squad and made it.  How many football games did we go to? Randy would laugh at me because I never watched the actual games. I am not a sports fan, but I do love to watch the cheerleaders.  Especially when Danielle was one of them.

It seems like yesterday that Danielle would spend hours working on her "platform" of bullies in school. I was so proud of her when she returned to the school that the girls tormented her.  There she stood in front of the school looking like America's Top Model and explaining how being bullied can hurt you and how it isn't always the kids that look different that get picked on, it is the cheerleader or the popular kids.   She talked about how she felt and how it made her a better person and a stronger individual. I watched as a girl came up to her afterward and tears flowed from both their eyes and Danielle assured her that " it will get better.. to keep your chin up and know you are worth something."  Then there was that whole AETN special she did about bullying.  Wow.... such a role model and she didn't even know it.

It seems like yesterday that I packed Danielle off to college . I knew she would experience things that I really didn't need to hear about - although facebook pretty much tells all.   This was Danielle's first experience away from home and let's just say - she took full advantage of it.  There need be no talk of sowing wild oats. Danielle was  a farmer of " wild oats."  I am sure all the good and bad experiences led her to where she is now.

It seems like yesterday Danielle packed up again and moved it Honolulu to take care of GG, her niece- my grand-daughter.  I remember her calling me one day crying and saying " I am NOT ready to be a mom. I can't do this . I am NOT her mother."  I think GG and Danielle had a bad day simultaneously and wow... I called Addam and said " You should probably go home and rescue Danielle now." He did and they all lived to tell about it. I think Hawaii Danielle had enough down time to make peace with herself and what she wants out of life.

Today as I watched Danielle it was hard not to beg  her to stop and just be my little girl for a while longer.  

It seems like yesterday.


AdamandKaylasmommy said...

Very emotional post.

I know it's tough. She needs you now more than ever. You've done a good job raising her. Just think that you will always have 16 pre-schoolers that you are making a difference in.

Teacher Sheryl said...

I've been very emotional all week with our oldest turning 19...and then I read your post and feel even more emotional!